Teaching Kids to Tell the Truth
By Harold J. Sala
Children lie for the same reasons that adults lie: to avoid punishment,
to win respect or admiration, to appear better than they actually are,
because they don't trust someone with the truth, or because they feel
threatened with power. Without realizing it, many parents teach their
children to lie. And parents actually encourage their children to lie
at the very time they dislike what they see and punish their children
because of it.
Do you want to teach the children the importance of honesty in your
child? Here are a few guidelines:
GUIDELINE- 1: MODEL HONESTY YOURSELF.
Children who lie often have parents who lie, and very quickly
youngsters learn from their example. They overhear Mother saying, "No
Johnny isn't home," when Father is seated in front of the TV set and
doesn't want to be disturbed. Children pick up on phony excuses which
you make, or hear you lying to the policeman who asked you to pull
over, or understand what the high level conference at the kitchen table
is about as you sweat over your income tax returns.
GUIDELINE- 2: BE HONEST WITH THE CHILD YOURSELF.
Kids are confronted with a problem. If you aren't honest with them,
don't expect them to respond with honesty. For instance, you are losing
your job which means that you can't take the family on vacation, but
you sugar-coat the situation thinking that you are sparing your child
the anguish of knowing you are without work. A child picks up on your
stress and your insecurity. And the uncertainty of not knowing what is
wrong does the child far more damage than telling the truth and being
explicit.
For example, your child's grandmother has had a stroke and is
hospitalized. Telling your child that everything is all right when he
has seen your pain and anguish, will cause confusion and alarm. Better
to establish open communication and take difficulty as an opportunity
to point out that we can trust God in difficult situations and make it
a spiritual object lesson.
GUIDELINE- 3: DON'T GIVE YOUR YOUNGSTER AN OPPORTUNITY TO LIE; RATHER,
MAKE IT EASY FOR HIM TO TELL THE TRUTH.
For example, you have laid down certain boundaries and you expect your
children to stay within them, but you know that your child disobeyed.
Don't say, "Did you go beyond the corner at the end of the block?"
Rather say, "Why did you go into the next block?" It gives your child a
reason to explain his behavior rather than to deny what he did. Another
thought---when parents are overly restrictive, they set the stage for
dishonesty. It is far better to have open and free communication so
your child is free to say, "I don't think that you are being fair in
what you are doing." And that can be done without malice or anger. Open
communication evaluates the situation and allows a youngster to express
himself without talking back in disrespectful manner.
GUIDELINE- 4: STRESS TO YOUR CHILD THAT WHAT OTHERS MAY DO IT IS
DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU OBSERVE IN YOUR FAMILY.
Early in life children begin to understand what truth is. Child
psychologists say that by age four most children can sift fantasy from
truth. When they have playmates who make it a practice to lie, you must
teach your children that honesty is a basic matter of trust and love in
your family. Help them to understand that trust is important in your
relationship. If the behavior of other children begins to rub off on
your children, put those kids off limits. When your child learns that
you still love and accept him or even if he has gone beyond limits of
acceptable behavior, it helps her to be honest with you, regardless of
the consequences.
"Truthful words endure forever but lies, for only a moment" (Proverbs
12:19)
=====
regards,
Yenny
"no matter how your heart is grieving...
if you keep on believing...
the dream that you wish will come true..."
By Harold J. Sala
Children lie for the same reasons that adults lie: to avoid punishment,
to win respect or admiration, to appear better than they actually are,
because they don't trust someone with the truth, or because they feel
threatened with power. Without realizing it, many parents teach their
children to lie. And parents actually encourage their children to lie
at the very time they dislike what they see and punish their children
because of it.
Do you want to teach the children the importance of honesty in your
child? Here are a few guidelines:
GUIDELINE- 1: MODEL HONESTY YOURSELF.
Children who lie often have parents who lie, and very quickly
youngsters learn from their example. They overhear Mother saying, "No
Johnny isn't home," when Father is seated in front of the TV set and
doesn't want to be disturbed. Children pick up on phony excuses which
you make, or hear you lying to the policeman who asked you to pull
over, or understand what the high level conference at the kitchen table
is about as you sweat over your income tax returns.
GUIDELINE- 2: BE HONEST WITH THE CHILD YOURSELF.
Kids are confronted with a problem. If you aren't honest with them,
don't expect them to respond with honesty. For instance, you are losing
your job which means that you can't take the family on vacation, but
you sugar-coat the situation thinking that you are sparing your child
the anguish of knowing you are without work. A child picks up on your
stress and your insecurity. And the uncertainty of not knowing what is
wrong does the child far more damage than telling the truth and being
explicit.
For example, your child's grandmother has had a stroke and is
hospitalized. Telling your child that everything is all right when he
has seen your pain and anguish, will cause confusion and alarm. Better
to establish open communication and take difficulty as an opportunity
to point out that we can trust God in difficult situations and make it
a spiritual object lesson.
GUIDELINE- 3: DON'T GIVE YOUR YOUNGSTER AN OPPORTUNITY TO LIE; RATHER,
MAKE IT EASY FOR HIM TO TELL THE TRUTH.
For example, you have laid down certain boundaries and you expect your
children to stay within them, but you know that your child disobeyed.
Don't say, "Did you go beyond the corner at the end of the block?"
Rather say, "Why did you go into the next block?" It gives your child a
reason to explain his behavior rather than to deny what he did. Another
thought---when parents are overly restrictive, they set the stage for
dishonesty. It is far better to have open and free communication so
your child is free to say, "I don't think that you are being fair in
what you are doing." And that can be done without malice or anger. Open
communication evaluates the situation and allows a youngster to express
himself without talking back in disrespectful manner.
GUIDELINE- 4: STRESS TO YOUR CHILD THAT WHAT OTHERS MAY DO IT IS
DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU OBSERVE IN YOUR FAMILY.
Early in life children begin to understand what truth is. Child
psychologists say that by age four most children can sift fantasy from
truth. When they have playmates who make it a practice to lie, you must
teach your children that honesty is a basic matter of trust and love in
your family. Help them to understand that trust is important in your
relationship. If the behavior of other children begins to rub off on
your children, put those kids off limits. When your child learns that
you still love and accept him or even if he has gone beyond limits of
acceptable behavior, it helps her to be honest with you, regardless of
the consequences.
"Truthful words endure forever but lies, for only a moment" (Proverbs
12:19)
=====
regards,
Yenny
"no matter how your heart is grieving...
if you keep on believing...
the dream that you wish will come true..."
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar